Party Hard Corps Service Ribbons

Service Ribbons of the Corps denote special sacrifices and celebrate honorable conduct of our noble defenders of excess. They are to be worn with pride while partying showing all that your dedication to drunken revelry is beyond question. They are listed below in order of precedence (the order in which they are worn left to right, top to bottom) and are available for purchase in our online store.

Seal of Sacrifice

This vibrant ribbon is earned by the noble soul who forgoes a night of drinking so that his comrades may indulge. In other words a designated driver award. Few soldiers have the discipline to earn this ribbon, but the sacrifice of those few is never forgotten.

The Yellow Stream of Victory

Worn by those who put the little things like pride and dignity aside for the greater cause of drunkeness and upon waking in the morning find themselves soaked in their own piss.

Brown Badge of Courage

Worn by the diligent soldier who has proved themselves capable of a perfect purge; vomiting quickly and cleanly and getting straight back to drinking. The thick brown stripes with hints of green and yellow represent this soldier's loss while the blue hues represent the placid toilet water into which the perfect purge is usually performed.

Valorous Blackout Award

This ribbon is for the soldier who somehow, despite all odds, manages to conduct themselves with a modicum of control despite being completely blacked-out and having no recollection of the evening. The thin white line to the left symbolizes the small amount of sobriety at the beginning of the evening, giving way to the vivacious red of drunkenness, fading into the dark black of the blackout, and coming full circle to the blank slate of memory the next day.

Drink Vacuum Citation

This ribbon is awarded for valiantly refusing to let the half-quaffed drinks of others go to waste toward the end of the party by drinking down the menagerie of liquors and concoctions. The beautiful rainbow of colors represents the rainbow array of drinks consumed for this citation.

Charge of the Forlorn Hope

Worn by those so dedicated to the war on boredom that they have drunk hard and long into the night despite having to face working the next morning. A badge very similar to this one in the U.S. Armed Services is the “War on Terror” badge. The PHC says what terror greater than the one we must all face alone… work.

Purple Liver

A commendation for those who have been wounded or injured in the fight against the tyranny of sobriety by falling down stairs or out of chairs, punching walls, ramming their heads into fixed objects or any other sort of drunken mishap that leaves a mark.

Meritorious Medical Service

For attending to the medical needs of fellow revolutionaries, be it bandages, pain killers, Alka-seltzer, cool compresses, or good old fashioned hair-holding, despite being utterly blotto yourself.

Covert Operations Service Medal

Worn by those valiant servicemen and women who have managed to maintain the appearance of sobriety in times of necessity, despite being thoroughly wasted.

Enduring Service Award

Worn by the party revolutionaries so dedicated they have woken up late into the next day still very drunk. The blurry white light in the middle of the badge symbolizes the bleary light of the next day as viewed through rum-soaked eyes.

KULT Commendation

Worn by the chosen revolutionary who wins three Messiah-hoods in one game of KULT. The brilliant green of this ribbon has a dual meaning as it is the color of the KULT design and it is the color of envy which is what the others at the table will feel for this master of the game.

Captain Morgan’s Wrath Commendation

Adorns the proud and sea-hardened militant who wins three games of Captain Morgan’s Wrath in one night. This ribbon's colors reflect the Union Jack, under which Captain Morgan proudly sailed. (Captain Morgan’s Wrath is the PHC pirate drinking game coming very soon!)