Earning Merits in the P.H.C.

There are many ways to earn merits in the P.H.C., from contest rewards to the whim of General Dissent. A few basic ways to earn these merits are listed below to give you a few ideas.

  • Purchasing an item: 1 point for every $5 worth of P.H.C. merchandise purchased
  • Recruiting a P.H.C. member: 3 points for every recruit
  • Attending a P.H.C. event: Varies (usually 1 to 2)
  • Advertising: Widely varies (does not include linking)
  • Links to P.H.C. on websites: 1 point with a maximum of 20
  • Play-testing upcoming P.H.C. games: 2 points

Party Hard Corps Ranking

Private

Merits: 0-10
Entry level rank for all Party Hard Corps recruits, but remember, there are no low ranks in this glorious Corps, just ranks that are easier to obtain.

Private first class

Merits: 11-21
A recognized soldier in the cause. There are a few fringe benefits for this rank including autographs on P.H.C. merchandise by the P.H.C. elite (creators).

Corporal

Merits: 22-34
A veteran soldier of the revolution, the Corporal receives recognition and a 5% discount on one purchase of P.H.C. merchandise.

Sergeant

Merits: 35-47
A strong contributor to the good fight, the Sergeant earns a second 5% discount on a P.H.C. purchase and a $1.00 discount on updated dogtags.

Sergeant major

Merits: 48-62
A stalwart and respected soldier in good standing, the Sergeant Major earns a 10% discount on one purchase of P.H.C. merchandise.

Lieutenant

Merits: 63-79
At the level of Lieutenant a recruit has become an influential force in the P.H.C. and earns a second 10% discount on P.H.C. merchandise.

Captain

Merits: 80-98
This member has reached the upper echelons of the Corps! The rank of Captain earns a 15% discount on P.H.C. merchandise.

Major

Merits: 99-119
A powerful ranking paragon of the Corps, the Major earns a second 15% discount and $2.00 off updated dogtags.

Colonel

Merits: 120-144
A clearly fanatical devotee of the Corps, the Colonel earns a 20% discount on P.H.C. merchandise and free admittance to nearly all P.H.C. events.

Brigadier general

Merits: 145+
Nearly unattainable, the rank of Brigadier General is usually awarded posthumously. If attained while still living, this respected icon of the Corps earns a second 20% discount on P.H.C. merchandise, free updated dogtags, and two free admittances to nearly all P.H.C. events.

Rank Etiquette in the Party Hard Corps

Higher-ranking Corps members are to be respected for their dedication to fighting the tyranny of boredom and sobriety and as such must be addressed by their rank or “Sir” with an accompanying salute whenever a lower-ranking recruit feels like it. Also, higher-ranking Corps members are free to order lower-ranking members to fetch them drinks, towels, or buckets to puke in. Whether these orders are followed is entirely up to the lower-ranking recruit. Higher-ranking soldiers in good standing in the Corps can court-martial lower-ranking recruits and, if found guilty, may assign punishments, usually involving punitive drinks. In other words, have fun with this bullshit.